I have been remiss

I haven't posted in awhile. It's been odd, but I haven't been terribly sure what to say lately.

That is definitely not like me.

So, here is an update of life lately:

I haven't blogged about it much (if at all), but I got horrible blood test results back in February and March. The doctor really scared me. I knew that I was overweight, but I didn't realize that my health had gotten quite so bad. I wasn't just "fluffy." I was a ticking time bomb.

So on March 28, 2010, the doctor's blood tests confirmed that my efforts (and they had truly been genuine) to make improvements through diet weren't working, so he put me on a diet which he had found to be truly helpful. It involved buying my foods, drinks, shakes, etc. from a particular company. It was a "moderately low carb" plan.

I was (and am) seriously averse to "frankenfoods." I had begun eating clean and following a good plan on Sparkpeople.com that follows the USDA guidelines, so I had already been cutting out a lot of processed foods from my diet. That left me in a quandry.

The program that the doctor uses has a great history of success, but it is also expensive. I realize that I probably spend close to this for food for myself each month, but certainly not in a single payment! I just don't have that kind of cash to throw around, so I did lots of research and asked my doctor lots of questions and came up with a way to do this myself.

I went back to check a lot of the original research that was done on low carb diets. I know, I am a nerd, but I really wanted to understand how to make this work without the fake foods. Eventually, I settled on a more moderate version of the Atkins plan. Dr. Atkins had done all of the original research, but I took my doctor's advice and went fairly moderate. I never went into Induction at all, but went straight to the On-going Weight Loss phase (OWL).

So far, from March 29th through today, I have lost 38 lbs. and am feeling better than I have felt in years. I am walking every evening with my family and it feels pretty good (even if it is HOT!). I seem to have lost my taste for, and cravings for, intensely sugary foods. I don't even really want them. Believe me when I tell you that this has never been true for me in the past, no matter what diet I tried.

My goal was always to lose enough to be in a healthy BMI with about 5 lbs. of wiggle room for maintenance. That is a goal of 120 lbs. It seems unbelievable that I could ever be that weight. The last time I weighed that was probably in 7th grade (1979 or so). To reach that weight will entail a loss of 118 lbs or so. Literally, half of me. It's a daunting goal.

As far as mini-goals, I had hoped to lose 50 lbs. by my birthday in early October. I really think that I might be able to pull that off now. It's amazing. I have tried so many times and not experienced any success. It seems foreign to me that I could actually pull this off, but I really seem to be doing it.

My doctor says that my metabolism has been so damaged over the years (not so much from yo-yo dieting, because I was never very successful with dieting) from a slow, continual climb in weight that this program is just about the only way for me to lose. I don't know that it would be right for everyone, but it is certainly a healthy option for me.

Oddly, I was so focused on improving my health that I didn't really realize how much that my quality of life would improve. Or, how much I would enjoy going blueberry picking, or for a brisk walk on the beach during vacation or just our little walks on the track every evening.

I think I haven't blogged about this until now because I was very ashamed of how unhealthy I had become. I also don't think that I ever really believed that I could do this successfully.

It's taken me 38 lbs and almost being out of the dreaded "200s" to feel like maybe, just maybe, I was wrong. Maybe I can make this happen. Maybe I can shop in regular size stores. Maybe I can feel young again.

Just maybe.