Talk about nerve!

Warning: rant coming on! I won't be holding back....

Okay, for those of you who read this that are not of the faint of heart, here is exactly what I think about Christianity (or what passes for it) today.

There are a few things that drive me insane around "christian" folk. Probably the one that bothers me the worst is immodesty. I don't mean that everyone should run around in ankle length skirts in only somber colors, wear a burka, or anything like that, but for goodness sake, do I really need to see you chubby tummy, your butt crack or your boobs???? I think not. And these are the "christian kids" from the good "christian families." I usually find that the parental units of these kids tend to take one of two paths: 1. I had no idea that my kid wore clothes like that (of course the kid can't drive and doesn't have a job--who paid for those clothes? Who purchased them? Who launders them?) or 2. I think it looks fine and my little prince or princess looks cute. Why shouldn't he or she look cute? It's everyone else that is immodest! This roughly translates as: make everyone else cover up so that my child stands out and gets ALL of the attention.

Of course both groups cry loads of tears and are heartbroken when their kids behave in a matter consistent with the look of their clothing instead of with the lessons they learned through home, church, etc.

A case in point is cheerleading uniforms. Some parents make sure that the coverage is ample and appropriate within the needs for movement that the girl has. Others just go for the skimpiest, shortest, tightest thing possible. Our squad has lengths from crotch to just below mid thigh. You can look at the kids and know a lot about the parents who approved of the length. Now, I am not prudish, by any means, but I don't need to see bloomers when the girl is standing still. Even worse, we have been asked by other Christian schools to not bring our cheerleaders back to other functions unless they wore pants under their uniforms.

I try really hard not to be judgemental, but I see it all the time in the community, in church, and at school. I know how hard it is to try and direct a child to adhere to a reasonable (actually pretty lax) dress code only to have the parents take offense that pants have to be pulled up or belly can't be shown. It's even worse when cleavage is shown. It doesn't happen often (and I don't think that it ever happens deliberately) among the adults I know, but when exactly did women begin to believe that their breasts can be even a little bit exposed and that nobody would notice? Teachers lean over desks and help kids, good grief, check your necklines! Or their buttocks? It's embarrasing when you can run into an adult at a grocery store and see two half moons of the person's butt hanging out as they walk away. It's worse when your kids know them and comment after they leave about what they saw (is that why they are called booty shorts, Mom?). Geesh! It's a hard call to discuss modesty without making it appear that you are attacking the fashion victim.

The sad thing is that I know some otherwise beautiful, Godly, women who just don't seem to realize that their clothing send another message. The men aren't much better, but, as a married woman, I don't socialize with very many men, just a few friends of the family. So, I don't have a lot to base an opinion on the character of the "man on the street." I guess you'll have to ask the men you know about that one.

And let's talk about modesty in relation to behavior. Now, I understand at a sporting event, being concerned about a bad call or a good play and expressing approval or disapproval. But, what about the parent who is constantly screaming (not cussing, but very, very derogatory) at the high school kids (his kid included) at a Christian sporting event? I know from experience that it is annoying and embarrasing for the people around this person (just from listening to the comments that I hear around me) and creates a lot of pity toward the kids that are victims of this constant tyrade. Does it help the kids to want to do better? Does it edify or uplift them in any way? No, it doesn't. It demoralizes them and makes them not want to play.

I sat at a volleyball match once where this parent screamed constantly, "you are losing the game for yourselves girls" while the team captain kept telling them, "it's okay, just do your best." I was outraged! A child had to try and calm them while and adult ripped them apart. I wanted so badly to scream, "if you make them cry, then we'll lose for sure!" I didn't yell it, but I sure wanted to. We make a point of praying before and after games and playing fair and playing clean and "playing in Jesus' name." But, when we lose, it's often due to the devil on the sidelines who hides behind cruel words. Yes, we play teams that are just better than we are on that day, but the constant heckling and picking apart of our players doesn't help or inspire them to do better.

But beyond the usual sporting event bad behavior, what do we teach the kids about talking to each other in brash, bold ways? Do we encourage a meek and quiet spirit? No, we encourage kids to "get attention" and "go out and get what they want." Excuse me? What they "want" or what their bodies and hormones prompt them to want will only lead to heartache.

The adults of my generation have messed up so many things for themselves, but they don't counsel their children to avoid their bad behavior--only to do it better so that they don't get the consequences. The devil doesn't work like that and we all ought to know better.

Here's a sad commentary. Each year, new students coming up into high school will ask personal questions of their teachers. Every year someone asks me if I am married. I always tell them that I have been happily married for 21 years (okay, it's 21 this year, I tell them the appropriate time for when they ask) and they invariably ask, "to the same guy?" I always laugh and tell them yes, and that it can be done if you are willing to work really hard at it. Several of our teachers are in the same situation and we chuckle over it, but it is sad.

And then there are the bizarre events we encounter when we go on away games to other Christian schools. I'll write more on that later. That one has me so very angry that I am going to take a break and pray before I dare to broach that subject!

It's Fall Break

After 9 weeks of studying (for the kids) and grading mounds of papers (for me), we have been granted a wonderful fall break for a week. It's lovely and I am going to enjoy every second of it!

We did a lovely outdoor photo shoot for the senior photos for one of my favorite students. We did the shoot at Sprewell Bluff State Park by a lovely river with a rocky shore. Hubby got loads of beautiful natural shots both in the woods and by (and in) the water. Lovely.

However, after walking all over the rocks and sandy areas, my left foot (the one that I have broken twice) is really hurting. Plus, I am battling the beginnings of a cold and am tired and achy and sniffle-y. So, I am taking it easy for the most part today. I have only to run the dishwasher and keep hanging clothes on the line to dry. Anything to save a $ on the power bills these days. Of course, the clothes smell absolutely lovely and they are less wrinkly as I learn better ways to hang things so that I minimize the mess that I make of things. I really don't like to iron, so I am trying to keep from having to!

It's still a little hit or miss to find gasoline around here, much less at a decent price. The pumps are still running very slowly. Hurricane season has really kicked us here, even though we are a good 4 hours from the shore!

My mom and dad are planning to leave on Wednesday morning (my birthday) and go to Orlando to see the baby brother. I think he is pleased that they are coming. If it weren't for the fact that we are really feeling the effects of the economic slowdown lately, I would love to pack up and go, too. But, alas.... At least I know that we will see him at Thanksgiving whether we go down or he comes up. I will just have to wait until then. I do miss the dufus, though :-)

The Best Laid Plans...

Well, after DS12 and I couldn't sleep well last night and woke up headachey, I decided that we would just stay home since I had the day off. I went into the school really early and picked up everything that I would need to do my grading at home, so I won't fall behind.

When the kids woke up I explained that we were staying home to spend the day together.
I can't say that they were thrilled (we spend lots of time together anyway), but they did seem pleased.

I must say that I am thrilled that God provided this blessing to fall when we really needed a day.

My baby is growing up!

Last Thursday, on the 18th, my eldest was born--12 years ago! It is so hard to believe that this kid has been in our lives for so long. Of course, he loves to be told the story of his birth and adoption. I get really sentimental about it, also. Seems like just yesterday on one hand and so long ago on the other.

Even with the autism, the learning disability, the meltdowns, and the doctor's visits and therapies, I wouldn't have it any other way. I just don't know how to not love the kid. I can't even imagine life without him and I don't want to.

I guess it's a mom thing.

A Wild Weekend

Lots around here keeps us adults jumping through hoops just to keep up. That never fails and we have learned to count on it. Like a field trip coming up for our two boys at, gulp, $150 each. Not to mention that we don't let the kids go off on trips like this without one of us, so add another person, please. Fortunately, our school reimburses us some money for driving other kids to the trip, so that will help. But, we're saving up to send the payment on October 2nd, the very last day that we can send it. Sigh.

Yesterday, we received a note from the local water authority that the meter reader had noticed a possible leak on our side of the meter. So, hubby got to checking and sure enough, the entire connector on our side of the meter had blown apart and we were seriously leaking water. Since this is out our long driveway and by the road, it's unlikely we would have noticed it very quickly at all without being tipped off. As it is, we don't know how long it may have been leaking, so I'm sweating our next water bill.

Hubby has spent a fair chunk of the last two days digging up the line and getting it fixed. I am so grateful that God has sent me such a capable fella, because I certainly couldn't have fixed that myself. I am not sure how much time I would have wasted trying to figure out where to start! But, we have water now and it was gleeful to flush toilets and fill the washing machine again. The boys went to Granny and Grandpa's house to take baths last night, so that wasn't a problem.

On Thursday night, our school played our first football game (this is our first year having a team) against the school that our Headmaster used to work at. The outcome of this game meant a great deal to her as she considers some of the attitudes and beliefs of the head of the other school to be immoral. Happily, we won, and as a reward, the 8th-12th grades have tomorrow off of school (along with their teachers, yay!). Of course, I will still have to take my kids to school, but then I will leave and go grocery shopping. I will go in later in the day to catch up on mountains of grading and paperwork, but still, I will have a nice, quiet day and that is a very good thing.

Whew!

Well, it is all over! DS1o made it through surgery just fine. Once he got home, though, he started really whining and milking it--so much so that hubby made me stay in the other room because DS10's condition got much, much worse every time he laid eyes on me. He was reasonably calm and collected when he was only with hubby and brother!

He is a cutie, even when he is piling it on really thick!!!

But, I am supremely grateful and I do appreciate so much the prayers that were offered for him.

Surgery tomorrow

Tomorrow morning, DS10, my baby, is having surgery to remove a birthmark on his head. It is a sebaceous neva. This type is pre-cancerous, but gives rise to squamous cells later in life. This skin cancer can spread to the nearest organs--in my son's case, the brain. So, off it comes!!!

Actually, the timing has been dictated by my kid being suddenly self-conscious about it. We have been trying all summer to have this removed. We started with his dermatologist and even got so far as to get everything scheduled, only to find that the doctor decided to refer us to a plastic surgeon instead. Then we had to wait for the remainder of the summer to get a consultation appt. Fortunately for us, this doctor rearranged his schedule to get this done before we go back to school.
But, we are cutting it close. The surgery is tomorrow (Monday) and I report for pre-planning on Tuesday morning. But, kiddo still has a week out of school to rest up.

Wish us luck!