Monday, August 17, 2009


One of my dearest friends lost her step-dad this evening after a long bout of cirrhosis of the liver from alcoholism. She reminded me that no matter how aware we are of situations, how educated we are, we can never be fully prepared when situations come to pass.

We've discussed the potential for this inevitable outcome for months. She definitely knew it was coming. She knew that he brought it on himself. She waffled between pity and anger and worry of how it would hurt her mother and her children. She railed against his selfishness and inability to realize that his actions affected anyone other than himself. His behavior suffered, as his brain was slowly poisoned, to the point that he was boorish and intolerable.

But as she drove in to meet her mother, crying, she called me and said, "for all of his faults, he surely loved my young'uns."

I am not sharing my friend's name because I am not sure how she would feel about that. But, I admire her strength and ability to forgive, even amidst the most horrible pain. And this is but one example, for in the last 18 months or so, her step-dad declined rapidly, her biological father died, her mother was diagnosed with cancer, had multiple surgeries, and is on chemotherapy which renders her nearly bedridden every other week. Her grandmother died about a month ago. The step-dad had been in the hospital for almost 6 weeks this time and was just released to hospice care this afternoon.

But, through it all, she has been a supportive friend, mother, wife, daughter, sister, co-worker, coach, and most of all, a Christian. And now she is grieving. It is so sad.

And it makes me ashamed of myself for the pity party that I had this afternoon because I have sick kids and one with gastro-intestinal issues that blesses me with LOTS of extra laundry. I have been blessed beyond imagining and here I sat, whining and venting on the phone with my mom. I am pathetic.

No comments: